Friday, August 18 *

i saw those age-ing lines on my parents' faces .
esp my dad . though he owaes jokes and jokes .
and sayin silly or nonsensical stuffs .
my dad is a great guy . he has 4 kids .
euu noe how is it hard to pay for their necessities .
schooling . eat good food . entertainment .
goin out .. etc etc . 4 lehs .
imagine when we 4 re in pri & sec sch .
each of us had $10 allowance .
exclusive of transport fees .
6 days in sch [ last time ] 60bucks . perperson .
4 children = 240bucks a week .
sunday goin out . 20bucks and above . ~
in a mth ? how much ? ard 1k.can ?

and he's able to make us live so comfortably .
without havin to worry about MONEY .
and now he's v stable in his business .
though my mum doesnt wrk . she worries abt us
MOST of the time . lyke fer my younger bro .
she worries abt him . cos he owaes misbehaves himself .
even wanna beat his teacher up euu see .
though sometimes teacher are v guofen .
bud still wouldnt beat up right ?

den when my parents tok to him nicely .
he shouts at them . for no reason .
and can even ask them to SHUTUP if he wans to .
wads that ? when he comes hme late .
he still claims he's in the wrong w/o informin .
alright if its me who FORGETS to inform .
i'll jus quietly let em nag abit .
and den jus go bak to my room ..

dis is the way i think we shud behave lorhs .
not SCREAMIN and SHOUTIN at our parents .
its okay IF they re REALI in dhar wrong .
and .. his dinner ~ still have to let my mum
take infront of his com . playin and eatin .
even if i do last time . i took my own food .
not askin my mum to take for me to my room kays !

he's already sec 3 !
he doesnt even wan to study ! at least listen in class !?
i think he'll grow up to be a NOTHING in future .
and i'm afraid to see that
he'll actually abandon my parents when they're old .
tell ya . i WOULDNT acknowledge him .
cos the way he behaves . is FAR too much .
he's livin in luxury yet he dun appreciate !
onli my elder bro can control him .
cos his strength is bigger .

when can i actually wrk and get high salary pays ?
* slams my keyboard hard *
i get so fed up with myself when i owaes think abt .
why my other friends and ppl i noe .
is now in polys or jcs . and i am now .
doin NTH significant . isit dhar lyfe i wan ?
shud i start plannin fer my lyfes now ?

jus so feel lyke cryin cann .
unbearable . sumtimes feel dhat lyfe's nth .
so i have to STUDY hard ! gettin closer to os !
i've already got a tutor .
and i requested usin my own salary $
cos i dun wanna waste my dad's $ lerhs .
i wanna earn cann .
cos how long can he contd to wrk ?
10yrs ? 20yrs ? 30yrs ?
nahs .

and HIM . jus duno why .
sometimes i get so sick and tired .
cos he's BUSY . with his part-time wrk and sch .
we only meet once a wk ?
part-time dun even look lyke part-time .
though earns quite a sum of $ .
he's wrkin perhourly - paid .
bud he wrks alot euu noe .

and sumtimes i do think .
if he realli misses me marhs ?
dis kind of r/s wun last de can .
i think i'm givin up soon .
why am i so pathetic in my lyfe ?
guess it'll be one of my downs .
sighh * so. tired ..

i made an effort in typin dis entry .
cos i'm realli NOT used to not typin
DOTS in between dhar wrds ..
ppl who've read havent been taggin .
i'm closin dis .

truly frm dhar bottom of my deepest .
i wrote all dis .forgive me .
its one of my moodswings..